Feeling the Judgement of Others

Being a parent of a child who is not neuro typical can make you feel very vulnerable.  I think one of the saddest things we do in society is to judge parents.  Instead we need to be building understanding of their particular position and finding ways to support them through the challenges of parenthood. 

One Little Monkey Jumping on the Bed!

In public children are constantly judged for their behaviour and that judgement passes on to their parents.  Parents are also judged on how they respond to their child's behaviour.  For parents who have children who don't behave in the expected way, that judgement comes thick and fast.  Before a diagnosis, parents are frequently subjected to comments from 'concerned' adults about their parenting style and perceived lack of skill.  After a diagnosis this continues from many who are uninformed of the diagnosis or those who know the diagnosis but have little understanding of the condition.  Most parents of children with special needs continue to experience judgement in multiple settings on an ongoing basis.

http://quoteaddicts.com/i/3361069

 Today after a stressful event my 11 year old burrowed into me for comfort.  We were getting some food at a foodcourt in a shopping mall.  This can be a difficult place for my son on the best of days.  I was so proud of how he was coping with the mall environment in his current state.  I looked up and met the gaze of an adult who had been staring at my son and his non typical behaviour.  This was the thrid person within a short space of time.  I felt judged!  As she joined her partner she engaged in low conversation.  I felt judged!  She may not have been talking about me/ my son but by then the damage to my own stressed and fragile state had taken place.  I was vulnerable yet again.

The video below simulates what it can be like for a child experiencing sensory overload in a shopping mall.  It also shows how adults around him react to his behaviour as he struggles to cope.

My good news story!

My post on Facebook about the challenge I faced and struggled with today (not the judgement part) was meet with an amazing amount of support and understanding.  I did not feel judged.  I did feel supported by many who strive to understand.   So my advise to anyone travelling this path is to surround yourself with those kinds of people who will sympathise and try to help you even when things seem unsolvable at the time.  People will always judge you and on bad days that can be tough but when your support network kicks in, you recover ready to continue supporting your loved one.