Resilience

I have read a lot about how tough it is to parent children with special needs in social media lately.  Many are beautifully written acknowledging the challenge yet emphasising the positive.

I have connected with each post, related and used these posts to keep me going.

Yet, sometimes it feels like we have to include the positive so we don't let the side down, so we don't put our negativity on our children.  We always need to protect our children.  This is rule number 1.

Sometimes I am negative.  

It has nothing to do with my children who I love deeply and think are the best people in the world.  I am happy to be surrounded by my family who I love dearly and would choose all of them above anyone else if I had the option to choose.

Yet sometimes I feel negative.

This is not about my family.

When I feel negative, it is because being a parent is hard and my resilience is low.

What makes it so hard?  What drains my resilience?

Simply - Other adults.  The comments from other adults, the judgement from other adults, the lack of understanding from other adults, the actions from other adults, the lack of action from other adults, the looks from other adults.  You get the idea...

Don't get me wrong, I don't think these other adults are deliberately making things hard or deliberately stealing my resilience.  Yet their lack of understanding and the judgement that frequently follows makes my life harder than it already is.  Knowing it is not deliberate does not lesson the impact on me or my children. 

It is school holidays now and we are spending a lot of this time at home.  It is easier this way and I recognise that my resilience is low right now.  My kids are happier at home.  They are easier to cope with at home.  My kids and I are not judged or stared at when we are at home. 

We will venture out again when my resilience is higher but right now, it is too hard.  This is the reality of parenting children with special needs. 

Sometimes it is just too hard!